as holistic as we get
this is as holistic as we getwhenshe feeds me alabaster lovefreely shorn - or chippedfrom an obsidian heartdependent upon her mood of the dayleading me from myinner mosque she guides medown to her...
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Quote:I meant to edit/add to my response, but copied over the wrong comment, and lost much of the post. I will come back and leave you a more thorough response shortly.Many Apologies,-ryan
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Bronxite - One challenge when writing poetry is to find a new way to look at familiar objects/feelings. I think you are trying hard to do that here but it rises to mere description at best; it's a...
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I think your poem is word-heavy, if this is possible. I like it but I want to see what is going on... and you don't give me that. "as holistic as we get" seems odd matched with this poem. and I think...
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Very in-deph review, LQ - thanks!This was a 10 word challenge that forced me into this travesty Trying to keep it concise and using the words given. You give some good suggestions which I'll take into...
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